Razorblade Romance

aliciamala @ 2008-10-27T23:43:00

2008-10-28T02:57:12Z

On Saturday, Chris dropped me off to visit Brandon while he went to see some of his friends that i didn't know well. Besides the shock of seeing all of my childhood furniture in a totally different environment, it felt surprisingly normal to be there. There was minimal awkward tension or pauses...much less than would be expected for hanging out alone with your ex after not having seen each other for an entire year. We smoked a joint and hung out with Schnoodles. He (Brandon, not Schnoodles) showed me some video projects he's been doing and we talked about Daniel, his close friend that just passed away. Right before we left to go meet Chris, I gave him a hug that seemed to last forever (I hugged him before I left as I didn't want him to feel awkward around chris, or vice versa). He held on really really tight and we just hugged the shit out of each other. My life is so much better when he's part of it and I am so happy that we can be such close friends. Not many exes have what we've got. So yeah, happy hug saturday.

Sunday I guess the happiest moment would have to be laying awake until the wee hours of the morning listening to Chris describe "ketchup ball" to me. This is a game that he created in a marijuana induced stupor (at least I hope he hasn't been thinking about this for a while now...) The game involves a baseball diamond the size of a football field (Do not ask questions about the layout and where people stand, he gets angry). Somebody throws a ball of yarn at somebody else and apparently wherever the ball of yarn lands will determine how long the other team member can squirt you with ketchup. According to Christopher, what makes this an even better game is that you can substitute the yarn for twine, or even the ketchup for red paint. There are so many possibilities.

aliciamala @ 2008-10-24T23:52:00

2008-10-25T02:54:59Z

Hmm...happy moment for today...

Wel it hasn't happened yet but I guess it still counts because I know it's going to? Chris & I are heading off to Halifax as soon as he gets home for work in about 20 minutes...I love our roadtrips, we always have so much fun. Whenever we pass the tolls to go into Nova Scotia we always pay for the car behind us too just to be nice. It makes me happy :)

aliciamala @ 2008-10-24T15:59:00

2008-10-24T19:05:35Z

Yesterday at the porn store one of the ladies from head office was down b/c some one stole a copy of Pirates 2 & we had to review all of the surveillance tapes. Its really funny watching video of yourself working in fast motion. Especially when you were in their by yourself doing weird things out of boredom and picking wedgies every 30 seconds lol.

aliciamala @ 2008-10-22T20:04:00

2008-10-22T23:05:39Z

Today my hair was perfect. One of those days where you actually wander around and look for people just to show it off.

aliciamala @ 2008-10-21T20:05:00

2008-10-21T23:07:12Z

Today, Oct. 21st 2008, I realized I like mushrooms when i ordered veggie fried rice from a chinese restaurant. This is definitely new.

aliciamala @ 2008-10-20T20:18:00

2008-10-20T23:23:35Z

Oct 19th- Chris and I went out for spontaneous after-work drinks & dinner with Kevin, Amber & Dennis. Old people were singing old songs on stage and Dennis & I seriously considered kicking them off to perform "In Spite of Ourselves". I won $60 on the slot machine.

Today, the 20th- Mike and I were bored at work so we turned our office radio to the classical music station and cranked the volume. No one else seemed to notice when they came in the office which sent us both into hysterics every time...

Oh oh oh and I can't remember which day this happened, but Chris & I scored some 2nd row tickets to Australian Pink Floyd in December. Fuck yeah!

aliciamala @ 2008-10-19T07:42:00

2008-10-19T10:49:40Z

The day before yesterday, (17th), I sold our store's first copy of "Pirates 2" at X-citement video (The highest budget porn movie of all time, sells for $89.99 plus tax). Jamie, the guy working at the other Xcitement video in Moncton, sold his first one the same night and called me up all excited to brag. Then about 2 hours later my guy came in and bought mine. I freaked out and called Jamie back and declared Pirate war.

Yesterday was my day off, so Chris & I dressed Schnoodles up and took him outside to take some pictures of him in all the pretty leaves. When we uploaded them onto the computer we couldn't believe how well they turned out. We cuddled in bed looking at the same pictures over and over again last ngiht talking about how much we love the little guy.

aliciamala @ 2008-10-17T02:59:00

2008-10-17T18:49:54Z

I never write in this anymore as I'm busy as hell. But I am going to start making an effort by taking one happy moment from each day, simple as it may be, and writing it in here. I'll start with the day before yesterday..

Oct. 15th- At Xcitement video (my new on-the-side job), I admitted to my manager that when customers ask me about weird toys I don't know anything about (ie. vagina suckers) I tell them that my manager uses them and loves them. We were trying to put together display racks while I was telling her this and we were both laughing so hard everything almost fell.

Oct. 16th- Chris and I took Schnoodles, our new puppy, for a walk on a trail near our house. We met up with a GIANT chihuahua who Schnoodles actually wasn't scared of and they ran around & played together in the leaves. This is the first time Schnoodles has ever relaxed and played around another dog. We were so proud of him!

Oct 17th isn't finished yet, so I'll update later!

aliciamala @ 2008-08-07T20:11:00

2008-08-07T23:12:07Z

aliciamala @ 2008-08-05T23:09:00

2008-08-06T03:21:36Z

Many updates! First being that Chris and I have officially purchased our first home! I'm pretty proud as that's quite an accomplishment for a 24 year old and a 19 year old. It's a GORGEOUS condo in the ritzy part of Dieppe. It's 7 years old and has only had one owner (an older couple). It's 938 square feet, plus a large balcony that is screened in with a door and whatnot so technically it's more like a sun room sorta thing. It's all laminate flooring that looks like hardwood. It's all very beautiful. Lots of storage and we're FINALLY going to have our own LAUNDRY room. SO EXCITED. Closing date is the 18th. I have a lot of faith that the value is going to go up quite a large amount over the next couple of years, too. Dieppe and Moncton are growing so fast and we're right in the good area where a lot of roads and stuff are opening it all up and making it more accessible. Plus we're right by an elementary school which will help a lot. I'm literally having trouble sleeping because I'm constantly imagining where we're going to put all our furniture...

Equally important is the fact that I actually saw the EAGLES live in concert over the weekend with Christopher. This is the first thing I can finally scratch off the "Things to do before I die" list I made when I was 12.

The whole day was just fucked. We got in around 3:30 after waiting in line for about an hour and a half. We didn't want to drink b/c we were driving home and b/c there are never enough portapotties in the drinking sections of concerts. So I stuck 2 grams of weed in my bra and we were on our merry way through security. We got through but were both hesitant to light up as it was such an older crowd. Not to mention this was also Chris's very first concert ever, so he found it a little steange to just sit out with 40,000 people and openly toke. But we found our own little spot wayyyy back on the field and smoked the first of 5 joints. Since we don't smoke much, we were both fucked and besides some breif discussion about ponchos I don't really remember what was said.However, what happened next was the single most terrifying moment of my entire life. Everyone who knows me knows that if there's on thing im scared of, it's spiders. Particularly Daddylonglegs. I have avoided them since childhood and have basically let the fear dictate my life every summer i can remember.

So I'm sitting on the grass....blazed out of my mind...paranoid and sketched out....and I feel a tickle on my arm. I look down...and there it is. a mess of long gangly fucking legs scurrying across my arms at top speed. I SCREAMED and jumped up so fast I nearly passed out. Chris killed it but it put a huge cloud of fear over the rest of my day. I was scared to sit down again, i was scared to talk about it. I'm twitching as I write about it. EW EW EWEWEWEWEW EW.

Anyway...so then we decide to go up front close to the stage because I'm too sketched out to sit down again...Sam Roberts is on and we're up pretty close having a good time (PS why am I just finding out now that Sam Roberts is the sexiest man in the music industry?). Chris notices this older guy there by himself abut six feet infront of us that is looking around strangely at people. In light of the Greyhound bus incident and all the suicide bombings we've been reading about, and in light of the fact that we're stoned and way sketched out by the amount of people, we naturally flag this guy as a crazed terrorist. After watching him intently we see him start digging through his bag. This is enough for Chris who grabs my hand and tells me WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW. So we walk allllllll the way back to the top of the field where we wander aimlessly as I'm still too scared to sit down. After a while we decide it's time for another joint but we want to smoke it in the drinking section where more people are probably smoking. We weren't sure if we would get searched again by security so we waited 20 minutes in line for the portapotty so Chris could transfer the weed from his pocket into his shoe. i don't know why we went to the bathroom to do this, it just seems like the only option at the time. Soooooo he puts it in his shoe and we hike on over to the drinking section. We zig zag through the maze of drunks and find a nice spot on the hill that appears to be spider free and is right amongst some other young people who we think are smoking. We sit down, he takes off his shoe....No weed. NO WEED. No weed at all. Nothing. The weed was now laying somewhere underneath 40,000 people across the entire width of Magnetic Hill. We were devistated. At this point we were both burnt out and sitting in the mud and had no money.

OOKKKK the be continued, Chris just got home and I need cuddles.

aliciamala @ 2008-07-14T17:32:00

2008-07-14T20:59:38Z

The last 2 weekends have been fan-muthaflippin-tabulous. YEAH.

Last weekend we loaded up the suitcase, purchased 2 brand spankin new roadtrip CD's (Best of Queen & Muchmusic One hit Wonders) and went to HFX where we wandered around the city, checked out Point Pleasant Park and took pretty pictures, and dropped by NewScott & Heathers pAlace for a little pre UFC shinnanigans. Jeff was there too, Chris was so excited to see those guys. I hope we see more of them now that we go to HFX more often. Heather seems like cool shit too. Anyway, we ended up at Nancy & David's new house in Dartmouth. FUCK I cant wait til we can get our own house. Their place is exactly what I hope Chris and I will find (Except I want all hardwood floors). Anyway..we got shitfaced with them and then went back to his parents place the next day for some Quality time (AKA Alicia passed out on the floor while Chris shows his parents wrestling videos we got from NewScott)..we left that night as I had to work at 7am the next day...however we were both exhausted/hungover messes by the time we got to Truro so we pulled off to get something to eat and recharge. But, as luck would have it Chris's car started to fuck up as soon as we pulled off the exit, so we called his Dad who told us just to sit tight until morning. This was awesome advice as we were 3 minutes from a Super 8 Hotel equipped with swimmimg pool and big waterslide. They gave me a corporate rate for Irving, I bought a cheap bathing suit from Giant Tiger and We spent a good portion of the night in the pool!! Chris was scared at first ebcause he doesn't know how to swim but I helped show him some tricks and he's getting a lot better. By the end of the night I couldn't get him away from the waterslide...lol...kids..<3

I didn't make it to work until 1:30 the next day rather than 7 and apparently the higher ups are a little pissed off at me but OH WELL! There wasn't much I could do about it, I wasn't about to hitch hike from Truro. They'll get over it...

This weekend was ridiculously fun too. Friday we went to my friend Manny's place (Our shunter from work) where he held a little BBQ for a few of us from Master Packaging and our significant others. He only invited the people who really really get along with each other so we had a fucking blast. Manny lives out in the middle of Buttfuck nowhere (Cocagne) so we didn't have to worry about how loud we were. We had a fire and a guitar and everyone was HAMMERED. So much fun. I drank a litre and a half of wine and some vodka rockstar...mmmm. Hahaha.
The next day Chris had to work 10-2 and he woke me up when he got home. I was soooo tired and hungover. Wine kills me. Dennis from work called shortly after that to see how we were feeling (He was at Manny's the night before) and to see if we wanted to go swimming at his sister Monique's place. We said sure, picked up some beer & were on our way. I stayed sober as the thought of alcohol could have made me puke and I also knew Id have to drive Chris's drunk ass home afterwards. We had SO MUCH fun swimming it was ridiculous. Monique has an awesome set up in her backyard. It's like a little sanctuary. By the time we left that night she was so drunk she wasn't even making sense lol. Just bopping around in her pool with her Tim Hortons mug full of cooler asking Chris to make his swimming trunks look like a thong. And you know Chris..he aims to please...*sigh*..

Anyway so here we are on my last day off and I'm just wasting time because I don't want to clean. My mom is coming to visit next weekend which I'm totally stressed about. Mom is SO high maintenance and everything needs to be PERFECT or else she'll feel uncomfortable...ahhh...I wish I could afford to just put her up in a hotel! lol

aliciamala @ 2008-06-28T21:24:00

2008-06-29T00:39:06Z

Summer is SOMUCHFUN!!!

Me and Chris (Chris and I) have been doing so many fun things I haven't even had time to be bored. Summer in Moncton rocks. It probably isn't so bad in Halifax either, I just never had a vehicle when I lived there so I barely ever did anything...and when I did I ended up cranky from all the waiting and figuring out buses...and from the kazillion people all around..

Just in the last couple weeks we've
;
Gone to Centennial Park a couple times on the walking trails and paddle boating (Going to Treego next! www.gotreego.com, check it out),
Gone to the zoo at Magnetic Hill
Gone to Parlee beach where we walked up and down the shoreline barefoot and hunny got a sunburn
Gone clubbing (and drove drunk, whoops!),
Been mallrats,
Eaten corn on the cob
gone to the gym and tanning almost daily....

Just today we woke up at 6:30 to hit the Dieppe Market where we bought local veggies & fruit & baked goods...then went to the Humane society and took some dogs out to play in the park...then we went to Krystal Blade where Chris got his nippleS pierced and I got a new belly ring. I'm getting my Damon tattoo done there next week.

Mom says when she talks to me these days it's like I'm an entirely new person..which I can't argue with...sometimes depression sneaks up and reminds me of who I was but all in all, my life is just better. I've cut out all the negative.....It's summer...the sun is shining.....And I've got Chris to spend my time with...of course I'm a different person..

aliciamala @ 2008-06-11T18:29:00

2008-06-11T21:37:36Z

I've quit smoking.

It's easier than I thought but I'm still finding myself really, really, irritable. Like really irritable. All the time.

I tried to go get a perscription for Chantix to help me, but the Doctor refused to give me one. He said that since I'm on anti-depressants, "who knows" how I'd react to quitting smoking, therefore he doesn't recommend it. I was really mad, but now I just figure I'll try it on my own and if I fail then I'll try a different Doctor. I dont think I'll fail though, I've got crazy willpower this time. I don't want to smoke anymore.

I've started going to the gym again and tanning to get my mind off of it. I feel great and it is helping. Chris is doing the same starting tomorrow and he's really excited about it. I'm excited about being with some one who cares as much about fitness and whatnot as I do. We can do it together. We've both been in that "new couple" rut for the last 8 months just being lazy together and eating junk food. We're both feeling pretty guilty & miserable about it.

Yay health!

aliciamala @ 2008-06-06T20:43:00

2008-06-06T23:48:28Z

Peta finally succeeded in their battle with KFC!! In Canada (only), KFC will now be adopting all sorts of fantastic new animal welfare practices that are above and beyond what most other places are doing. Go Peta! I'm especially excited that they're going to come out with a meat-free chicken substitute too..Yayyy fake chicken.....

It's all in writing...Hope they don't take too long to kick into gear...poor little KFC chickens,,,

I got my glasses today. I'm hot as fuck. I kinda look like the chick from Scooby Doo. HOT. AS. FUCK.

AHH I WISH CHRIS WOULD COME HOME IM SO LONELY I COULD PUKE....if loneliness made people puke..which it doesn't...so I'll just sit here I guess. Hmph.

aliciamala @ 2008-06-05T20:27:00

2008-06-05T23:42:05Z

This is a lame thing to be excited about but I BOUGHT 2 AIR PURIFIERS TODAY!!!

That's fuckin' TIGHT.

The only carpet free place in the whole apartment suitable for the litter box is in the closet in our entranceway...So as soon as soon as you'd walk in our apartment you'd get smacked in the face with a smell reminiscent of my old apartment in Dieppe *puke*.

Since I smoke in the living room too I decided to get two purifiers. They make the air nicer than if you were outside breathing fresh air. LOVE!

Great weekend...Chris & I went to Halifax...Visited the IWK where I thought about Damon and donated some money to the telethon. Then we went to his Aunt Tammy's place to see her, her fiance, her son Cody and Chris's grandparents. I love his family so much. They are sooo kind and make me feel so welcome.

Chris's mom and Grams got me a few things for my b-day and had a cake there for me....Grams actually thought I could fit comfortably into a size medium pajama pants....AWWWW....I LOVE GRAMS...

We got back Monday and Chris had to go straight to work which sucked. Tuesday he took a personal day so we could stay home and cuddle and be sooky together.

Today was my first day back to work which was kind of lame. Usually I actually like my job but for whatever reason, today sucked from the get-go. I got to take a 2 hour break though to go to the eye doctor and get checked so I can get my sexy new glasses. They're "Vogue" and they're pretty dramatic...thick black frames with little diamond studs on the arms....

Chris is going to get his eyes checked when his benefits kicked in and get matching ones...minus the diamond things haha...We're not getting matching ones on purpose, the ones he likes just happen to look a lot like mine but a male version..

Oh yeah we're going to get matching tattoos soon...hopefully next pay...He might just get the one I already have somewhere on him but I'd rather get mine altered too so it's more customized to him...We'll see..

Annnnndddd..

I GOT OUR BSB TICKETS TODAY!! SO PUMPEDSOPUMPEDSOPUMPEDOMGSOEFFINGPUMPED.

Nancy was all excited b/c she thought the BSB was going to be an opportunity for a crazy drunken night without the boys. Little does she know my boyfriend had his own boyband once and his biggest long term goal is to one day become Alexander James McLean.

aliciamala @ 2008-05-29T20:44:00

2008-05-30T00:12:20Z

I can't believe I haven't mentioned one of the biggest life changes I've made lately. I've gone 100% meat-free! It's been about 2 months now and I'm really proud of myself not only for my discipline, but for the 300 animals a year that I'm not eating!

I saw a documentary about PETA on TV a few months ago that really ignited something in me that I'd been trying to keep buried my whole life. The thought of murdering animals for uneccessary human benefit has bothered me since I can remember. At every family gathering my Grandfather loves to tell the story about the time we went to the Citidal and I yelled at an employee about the beaverskin hanging on the wall. I was about four and a half. ANYWAY this spawned weeks of internet research on factory farming and after actually seeing what I was contributing money to, I knew I couldn't keep eating meat in good concience.

I'm having a lot of trouble not shoving vegetarianism down everyone's throats. I just wish peple would let themselves be informed about what is going on. I've gotten Chris to watch and read everything I've seen and it bothers him a lot. It won't make him stop eating meat, but he was really affected by what he saw and at least wishes he could make the change. He just doesn't care for any food besides meat. But there are so many people that have no idea what they are actually putting their money toward when they buy a chicken burger or a steak. It's really sad. People just don't want to know. And most people think it's the slaughter that's bad. I can honestly say that's what I felt bad about before I made the change. But the reality is that I'd still be eating meat if I was bothered just by animals getting slaughtered. What I'm bothered about is everything before the slaughter. Almost all meat comes from factory farms nowadays, which means 99% of the meat we eat comes from animals who have been mutilated, whose muscles are atrophied from being unable to lay down or turn around in their crates, who will never see the light of day until they are loaded onto the slaughtertruck and about half of whom will be either dead by the time that day comes or too sick to walk off the truck themselves. Yet we still pay to eat them. Does a mouthful of flesh warrant contributing to this? Not to me.

It's always funny going to a restaurant and trying to find something I can eat. I get all sorts of confused looks.

"You want a clubhouse...with no chicken or bacon?"

Haha...That's what I got from Deluxe tonight and I could hear the cooks in the back going "Am I reading this right? Who the Hell would want a clubhouse with no chicken or bacon...it's just a bread sandwich"

I wish they'd offer veggie burgers more places. BK has them but they're nasty. Some other places I've had them have been really good (I actually liked veggie burgers for the taste before I stopped eating meat). Last time Chris and I went to BK with 2 for 1 coupons they wouldn't let me substitute a Veggie burger for a Whopper. I was pissed. Chris started demanding what coupons they had for vegetarians. The 16 year old gum-smacking greasy black haired girl at the cash replied with "That's what salads are for". We were pissed.

Then Chris won a prize with the game they have for children on the counter. It was awesome.

aliciamala @ 2008-05-28T20:08:00

2008-05-29T00:12:46Z

Gahhhhh

I just got back from Walmart. I decided I'd get a little shopping in since Kissyfer (yes, I went there) was at work.

I knew I'd gained weight. No biggie. I am always fluctuating. But JESUS 3 pant sizes? Are you fucking SERIOUS? AND DO THEY REALLY NEED THOSE GOD DAMNED FLOURESCENT LIGHTS IN THE DRESSING ROOM?!!? Does ANYBODY look nice under those? WOULD I BE MISSING SOMETHING IMPORTANT UNDER NORMAL LIGHTING?? I MEAN BESIDES MY ASS DIMPLES??

So naturally I didn't come home with any clothing, but rather, with a bitter disposition which I quickly comforted with Pizza Pops and oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies.

Luckily my boyfriend is amazing and seems to genuinely not care about whethere I lose or gain weight. He's proud of me when I lose weight but likes my boobs when I'm fat. He tells me I'm beautiful 100 times a day regardless of whether my thighs are currently about to pop out of my jeans or whether I have make up on or not. The only thing he cares at all about is that I eat healthy stuff ON TOP OF any junk food I decide to eat. I really feel comfortable in my own skin these days, and I owe a lot of it, if not all of it, to him.

We've started trying for a baby. Actually I shouldn't say we've started as we've kind of been playing it by ear for a little while. But we now both feel that we're at the point financially and emotionally to really commit to the idea. I have complete faith in our success as a couple as we are truely best friends and love each other deeply. We are completely open and honest about everything and have amazing communication. We do fight, but it's usually resolved within minutes. I can't imagine fighting for a long time about anything. I'd miss him too much! I am so committed to him and there's no doubt that he is just as committed to me. I mean, he spent months sorting garbage on a conveyor belt for next to minimum wage in order to live near me. Oooh ooh speaking of that....He is doing SO WELL at his new job. He's always near the top of the list for bringing in the most money, and we calculated what he'll be making once his commission checks start coming in in July...get this....$27 an hour. Isn't that insane? He's making $11 an hour more than I am! And he has a very strong passion for it too, which makes it that much better. Every night after work he comes home and jumps all over me, excited about how he did at work that night (I'm in bed at this point as I have to wake up in 5 hours for my own job...enter "Cranky Alicia"). Oh yeah, you've probably figured it out by now but we've been living together for a while; Not sure if I ever updated about that. We're right across the road from the mall in a really nice apartment until we can afford a house.

But anyway, yeah....I'm kind of nervous that there still hasn't been a baby. I know it's only been a few months and I probably shouldn't worry yet, but I'm terrified there could be something wrong with one of us. I mean I've been through my share of reproductive fuckups. After my C-section with Damon, I started hemmoraging and had to go to the hospital in Ontario and then stay on bed rest for a week. Then I had the abortion, which the Doctor fucked up. I thought I was hemmoraging again and had to go back to the hospital where they had to perform an emergency D&C as the first Doc had missed tissue. Then ofcourse, there's Chris, who was on steroids at the age of 16. I'd like to fucking smack whoever put the idea in his head that it was alright for a 16 year old to take steroids. Ultimately it was own decision but as passionate he was about wrestling and with so many older people ready and willing to persuade him into doing it...I don't know...I guess I just wish he didn't. He's so much better than that shit. But whatever, we'll see. The baby will come when the time is right. Ideally I'd like to get married first, but that seems like too long of a wait for me. I have a sneaking suspicion (A.K.A. Chris told me) that he'll be purposing as soon as he can afford a ring, but then it will be a year or two still until the actual wedding. See it's stuff like this that when I see it in writing I still can't believe it. Babies? Marriage? Chris Caldwell? BLUEMOUTH? Heehee. My bluemouth.

Anddd Damon's birthday is in three weeks. He would have been two. It makes my chest get tight when I think about it. I was going to go down to Halifax and Brandon and I were going to visit the garden where we lost him just like we did last year. I changed my mind though as Chris was going to have to work which would mean I'd be going by myself. Not only am I terrified of driving that far alone, but it didn't feel right at all going down there and spending time with Brandon without Chris being there to meet me or pick me up afterward. I think also it's time that I try to let go of that entire part of my life. Being there with Brandon would only make me sad. I don't know. Maybe I'm the only one who ever did this, but when I was a preteen and I was upset about something I'd sit alone in my room in the dark and listen to the same sad songs over and over and over just to wallow in my own pain. That would be how I'd feel sitting at the IWK garden with Brandon. Since he just freezes up at any threat of human emotion, I'd be sitting there reliving the most depressing part of my entire life and feeling so deparately alone all over again. I think Brandon might be kind of hurt that I'm not going, or perhaps he genuinely doesn't care. But I can't be his support anymore. It's in times like my son's second birthday that I'll need my own support. I'd much rather be with Chris for the moments that I'm most vulnerable. We're going to his parents house this weekend so we'll probably take a walk through the Playgarden then. It won't quite be his birthday but I know it will still be special. I know with Chris I'll be able to remember and celebrate my son's short life and I'm actually half looking forward to it....

Anyway BLAH BLAH BLAH I'm done :)

aliciamala @ 2008-05-20T20:23:00

2008-05-20T23:40:07Z

I have had SUCH a great few days.

We were going to go to Halifax for the long weekend to celebrate my birthday but that didn't quite go as planned. Thursday afternoon Chris brought me my lunch to work and we were sitting in the car thinking about where we may want to go instead since we always go to Halifax. First we considered PEI, and then Quebec. Then I figured...Hey...If we're going to go to Quebec we might as well go to Ottawa to see my parents...So we made up our minds on the spot and decided we were off to Ottawa Friday morning.

I get home that night from my last 12 hour shift and Chris says...Why don't we leave now? So we throw some laundry in a suitcase and hit the road..I haven't even changed out of my uniform and steel toe boots at this point. We just go.

The whole trip was spontaneous, exhausting and completely organized, but it couldn't have been better. It was great to see my parents, who officially adore Chris (thank god). We got lost for four hours in Quebec city on the way back, but it was fun. We saw moose and deer along the way, we went to a zoo & parliament hill. We at hot dog stand hot dogs (veggie dogs pour moi). We listened to French radio and had deep talks and silly talks and made up songs and ideas for books. We've now had sex in four different provinces (PEI, you're next). It was so nice to just forget about bills and groceries and laundry for a few days with my boyfriend and just go.

aliciamala @ 2008-05-13T20:41:00

2008-05-13T23:42:07Z

aliciamala @ 2008-05-10T01:12:00

2008-05-10T04:43:38Z

Oh yes before I forget...

People are going to think I'm crazy when they read this...

I was recently contacted by CSIS (Canadian Security and Intelligence Service) for an employment opportunity. Yes, for whatever reason, CSIS thought I could potentially be an asset for them. This would mean a starting salary of $72,000 a year, undercover investigations of national security threats, etc..

I passed the initial interview. They did their homework on me and knew everything about my family and I. Chris and I were "discretely" followed for a couple of days after that by some guy in an SUV...

However, after a lot..A LOT..of consideration I decided to turn down their offer. There was a lot of effort involved that I'm just not prepared to put in at this point. The job itself would be very stressful and require all of my attention and focus. I wouldn't be allowed to talk about my job with anyone, including Chris, which would be difficult. We'd have to move a every few years starting with immediately moving to Ottawa for 5 years of training. This all probably sounds like a dream job for most people, but it really isn't that appealing for me. I just couldn't find it in myself to drop everything in order to convince them to hire me when I don't even believe they should. My ideal life is a simple one which would severely conflict with chasing terrorists.

aliciamala @ 2008-05-10T01:08:00

2008-05-10T04:12:08Z

Just wanted to take this opportunity to say..there is no combination in life more beautiful than that of kahlua, percocet and way too many cigarettes. Oh and Chris. Chris makes everything beautiful.

aliciamala @ 2008-05-08T22:15:00

2008-05-09T01:35:17Z

WOW. I never really got how ridiculous MySpace is. I was never really into that scene and though I've casually laughed at references to how Emo it is, usually it was that kind of fake laugh that you do when you hope no one elaborates because you might get caught not knowing anything about something as cool as Myspace.

I've spent the last 2 hours reading through some of the most pathetic crap available online today. OOOOH I LISTEN TO DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL AND THE KILLERS I AM SO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYBODY ELSE, READ MY DEEP POEM ABOUT TEARDROPS WHILE I MANIPULATE EVERYONE INTO SAYING NICE THINGS ABOUT ME IN MY BLOG. OMG LOOK AT MY PHOTOSHOPPED PROFILE PIC WHERE IM LOOKING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA ALL INSIGHTFUL WITH THE BRIGHT LIGHT SURROUNDING ME I AM SOOO DEEP AND UNIQUE OMG.

And these are like..THIRTY year olds. THIRTY year olds writing teen angst bullshit that makes me want to puke through my computer screen and somehow have it come out of their computer screen and hit them in the face.

You are not different than everybody because of your stupid babbling and song lyrics. You are the same as, and equally retarded as, everyone else on myspace.

Hahaha...I'm going to go read some more!

aliciamala @ 2008-04-13T07:45:00

2008-04-13T10:59:33Z

I never know how to start a livejournal entry anymore.. It's hard for me to just dive in and start writing these days. I guess I just don't know where to start?

I guess I'll give last night a shot. We went to go see some fights/demonstrations for a martial art called Koyukoshen. It was awesome and Chris and I are both thinking of joining. It reminds me a lot of tae-kwan-do except there is no protective gear when you fight, and it's got the "flare" of wrestling..the theme music, the entourages, etc. I think it would be fun for us to do together.

Life is just awesome lately, plain and simple. Chris and I now both love our jobs and we're bringing in good money. We're saving up for a down payment on a house, which won't take long as we were preapproved for a decent mortgage and I can take out my RRSP's with no penalty to put toward a DP. I've definitely had enough renting..time to start making some investments!

Aaaaandd hopefully this will all go as planned...because once we get our money straightened out we're thinking about trying for a baby :) :) :)

aliciamala @ 2008-03-27T21:09:00

2008-03-28T00:58:09Z

Chris and I are now officially ROOMIES. We're not in our new apartment yet but he's all packed up and out of his place and staying here. I love it. I'm so excited for everything right now.

We got more photobooth pictures tonight and decided we're going to make it a tradition of sorts..I think it would be awesome to have a collection of photobooth pictures as we get older and can see ourselves aging in them and stuff. Plus we're both vain camerawhores. Plus I like being smushed into small spaces with my sexy little buttonpoop.

Seasonal depression is lifting...Chris seems a little scared and confused at the fact that I don't yell at him and cry randomly..as often...

Cathy and I aren't friends anymore. It's actually kind of a relief. We had some really good times together, but listening to years of justifications for behaving like some sort of lazy self entitled infant was really getting on my last nerve.

BUT she did introduce me to Christopher so it's all gravyyyyy.

OH YEAH I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT EASTER

We went to Halifax to see Chris's fam. Best weekend ever. Friday night we stayed up and played poker with his parents and Grams and every single one of us got piss loaded drunk unexpectedly. LOL at some point Grams went to Check but instead of saying "check" she said "chip" and it spawned an entire night of everyone yelling CHIP! The whole fam had a big heart to heart which was realy sweet..Especially between Chris and his Dad whose relationship has never been exactly "Seventh Heaven" material. His Dad kept going on about how he was so proud of his son who was all grown up and a man now and that he never thought he'd see the day that they would sit and tell stories and laugh as friends. He is so proud of him. It almost made me cry. I'm so proud of him too.

THEN....

Chris's Mom: "Yeah the Doctor has me on these new pills for the pain in my back"
Chris: "Why do you always take these crazy pills..Why don't you just smoke a joint once in a while.."
Chris's Mom: .........
Chris: "What? Have you tried it? Seriously Mom? When did you try it?"
Chris's Mom: "I first tried it a year ago I think?"
Chris: "What do you mean you first tried it? Is this a regular thing? How often do you smoke weed?"
Chris's Mom: "Oh I don't know....I've tried it a few times I guess"

*Chris's Dad raising an eyebrow*

Chris's Mom: "What!"
Chris's Dad: "Once in a while my ass! Try every fuckin' night!"
Chris's Mom: "Oh it is not every night!"
Chris: "You smoke weed every night?! My mom smokes weed every night? ..Do you have some on you now?
Chris's Mom: "A little..."
Chris: "Can we buy some?"
Chris's Mom: "No no no..I'll give you some"
Chris: "Ohmygod. FAMILY REEFER. Everybody let's have a family reefer. Come on Grams family reefer!!"

*Everyone retreats to the basement at 4am., where Chris's mom, Chris and I smoke a big joint and Grams and Chris's dad sit in disbelief at what is happening around them*

Chris's Mom: *Something retarded that nobody can remember*

Chris's Mom: *Something else retarded that nobody can remember*

Grams (While watching Chris literally fall off the couch because he's laughing so hard he can't breathe): ".....Is that what it does to you?"

We were supposed to smoke with Grams the next night but we didn't think she was serious when she said she would so we didn't ask and smoked by ourselves. We'll get you next time though Grams. NEXT TIME.

aliciamala @ 2008-03-15T10:39:00

2008-03-15T14:02:30Z

So I should probably update...since the only other option is to start cleaning.

Things are going well...too well..I just passed my probation at work with flying colors so I got a $2 an hour raise plus a $100 a month bonus. AND full benefits which means I can FINALLY go buy some new updated glasses. And my meds are all paid for which will help a lot.

Chris just got a job working for a government "call center" making $12.75 an hour plus weekly and monthly bonuses, full benefits and a $1000 signing bonus. The best part about that one is that it's a "no pressure" call center. No quotas or anything like that and there is only 10 people working at a time. He is soooooo excited about it. I mean every other job he's ever had was physical labour making crap money. Right now he's getting paid $9 an hour to stand in one place and sort through garbage on a conveyor belt. He's excited just to finally have a job where he can sit down.

He also gets his car in a couple of weeks which is AWESOME for both of us. His parents got it for him, he just needs to give them the $ for it when he gets his tax refund back. This makes me especially happy because now I'll have my car all the time again, just like the old days.

Aaaand finally, we're moving in together April 1st into a nice 2 bdrm apartment in Dieppe. I don't like it as much as the one I'm in now but it is going to help us save a lot of money on rent and gas going to and from work. With our new jobs and the savings on rent alone we're going to be able to pocket more than $1000 per month more than right now.....which we're saving for a down payment on a house! The new apartment is literally right across the road from the mall which is awesome too.

Anyway...what else is new..oh yeah, it was Mom's birthday yesterday so I sent her something I know she's going to totally lose it for. I got her and I matching 14k Gold rings that are really pretty...just like a simple band with a slight pattern on it and a heart in the middle. She's been having a really tough time with depression and stuff lately (She hates living in Ottawa and never getting to see me) so in the card I wrote up a little thing about how when she's feeling down she can just look down at the ring and know that maybe at that same moment I'm looking down at mine and thinking about her....then I got her a gift certificate for Additionelle too. (She loves that store)..

Anyway, I got some caffeine in me now so it's time to clean!